Would a narcissist take his camping chair and steal away to an isolated peaceful pond to sit quietly to reflect on his life/deeds/words?
Would he make a fearless moral inventory of himself and resolve to make amends to anyone he had harmed by his callousness?
No.
I don’t think he is capable of that much introspection. I guess that is probably good for him in a way. If N’s had the ability to care about others, if the were able to realize how much harm they have caused other people, if they knew how other people hated to deal with them, even a moment…I doubt they would be able to live with themselves.
No, they think that we (the victims) are the ones to blame, for everything. Every thing that goes wrong is someone else’s fault. The N can do no wrong. Just like the preschooler who gets caught being naughty, he quickly looks for someone else to blame…even if it’s his teddy bear.
Whenever I read a post from a person who is afraid that he/she has become like his/her Narcissist – I will frequently comment to assure them that if they were becoming like the N, they certainly wouldn’t be worried about it. They certainly wouldn’t be asking.
Do I think that the N might ever have an epiphany and realize what a scum bag he is? Could he develop a conscious and repent from how he has abused anyone having the misfortune of knowing him?
Not in a million years.
The photo above is entitled “Hidden Depths.”
There is no depth to a Narcissist, but there is a great deal that is hidden…especially from their “supply.”
I may not have gotten to see Boz Scaggs this summer, but even the ticket price was not enough to keep me away from the Hollywood Bowl in LA, CA last night. I hate to think how long it’s been since I’ve seen Barry…Manilow…as if there was any other possibility.
This was the first time that we have seen Barry at the Bowl. We’ve been there for Easter Sunrise services…(yes we are pilgrims)…and for nights with the Philharmonic, under the stars, complete with a picnic dinner.
But, contrary to what I heard last night, Barry has performed at the Bowl before.
Seriously, I am an expert!
In the early 80’s…yes, really the 1980’s…he performed a benefit concert at the Hollywood Bowl for The United Way. (I even remember what he was wearing. )
I’ve even got it on video & if I was techno savvy enough I’d download it here.
It was on Entertainment Tonight and Barry met a little girl after the concert. When Mary Hart asked the little girl how did she feel getting her big moment to meet Barry Manilow, she said, “I think I’m a asleep!”
Barry got a big kick out of that.
“Well, maybe it was a concert that had several musicians performing for the United Way and Barry didn’t consider it ‘just’ his show,” Hubby said.
Grrr – I hate when he’s right.
The concert last night was fabulous…after 33 years, did you think I would not give him a rave review? I think Barry might have fallen off the piano bench, (mind the new hips) when during “Weekend in New England” someone shouted out a comment/suggestion after he sang the line, “When can I touch you….?”
I can’t say for sure what they called out to him. Over the years I’ve heard the audience shout out LOTS of things.
What ever it was, judging by how he giggled, it must was a compliment for the singer who claimed he was 95 years old last night. : ) I love to see Barry laugh.
Seriously though Baz, you’ll always be 32 years old to me.
I received this as an email in 2003.
It’s so good, it bears repeating.
This is the fairy tale that we should have been reading as little girls!
(My hubby is the exception.)
Once upon a time in a far away land, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princess’ lap and said: Elegant lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am. Then my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in your castle, with my mother. There you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.
That night,
as the princess dined sumptuously
on a repast of lightly sauted frog legs,
seasoned in a white wine cream sauce with basil and garlic,
she chuckled and thought to herself…..
I don’t f***ing think so!
Hope the frog was a narcissist…it would be a just ending.
How many people clean out their medicine cabinet/storage/cardboard box of medicines regularly?
I do. Twice a year, usually at the fall and spring time changes. Keep those snide anti “Martha Stewart” comments to yourselves. This really is important.
How many times have you been “sick as a dog” only to find that the flu/cold medicine or worse yet, that the Pepto Bismol has separated into two murky looking halves in one bottle? Ever wonder why the prescription medication you took did not work and you find yourself sicker than when you took it? Check your expiration dates.
It is a lovely, late summer day here behind the Orange Curtain. Our heat wave seems to be ending, finally. My youngest son and I are comtemplating a trip to the movies to see “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.” As he passed by me this morning, I reached over to rub his still, soft back with my hand.
Hot. Mom-Radar on Red Alert.
I headed for our medicine cabinet – the linen closet in the bedroom hallway. Armed with the digital thermometer and the Motrin, I returned to Sam. His temperature is 102.2; he gets a dose of Motrin.
I consider Motrin to be the big guns…what I use first, when the fever is over 100 degrees. When Sam was little and when my first three sons were under 8, I could tell you within a degree what their temperature was by feeling their upper back (between the shoulder blades) with my hand. I don’t know if that is a marketable talent or not. It may fall under “Mother of the Year” headings. I remember the years when the boys would spike a high fever and I would be on watch 24/7, giving them what I affectionately called the Motrin/Tylenol cocktail. (You can’t order that in your local pub.)
I spent the next 30 minutes on the phone with the pediatrician’s office and Urgent Care. They advised that if his temperature did not drop two degrees within 30-45 minutes I should bring him in immediately. Otherwise, he should be seen in the office on Monday. Urgent Care told me their office was filled with kids with flu like symptoms and I think I am asking for more trouble if I take him there.
While I waited to take his temperature again, my mother called. This event, her phone call, can often have many options…ranging from pleasant to downright exhausting. You never know who you are going to get, and she wasn’t born in June. (My apologies to my Gemini readers.)
I know that when I tell my mother that Sam has a fever, she will be calling ever 45 minutes to an hour. You would think that he was my first born and only a few months old. While we are talking she tells me about a recall of Tylenol, she heard about on the news She has a great disdain for computers, but advises me to check to find out what product was recalled.
I click on Google and enter the key word Tylenol. Up pops the first item regarding a product recall. It’s not dated three years ago. Crud.
I run down the list of products and here’s the Tylenol suspension liquid. (Sam hates to swallow pills.) I find my reading glasses and dial the number for the company. The lot numbers of the products recalled are not listed on the site. Could there be too many to list? Could they want to know how many offending bottles of the product are out there?
The customer service representative determined that the almost empty bottle of Tylenol I am holding is one that was recalled. The other bottle, that I keep in my brief case, (should I get an emergency call from Sam’s school that he is sick and has a fever) is one of the unaffected products judging by the code. The rep gets the necessary information to send me a coupon for a free bottle. She also tells me that a doctor on staff with Johnson & Johnson will call me within 24 hours. That’s very nice I tell her, but really not necessary.
Ps – We love your baby shampoo.
Another bit of information that she gave me was the following website with instructions for what to do with those bottles of pills and cough syrups, etc that have expired.
Sam’s fever has dropped 2 degrees and he thinks this video looks like fun. We’re going to go and clean out the medicine cabinet now. He can’t wait to crush the expired pills. I’ve got an industrial size bottle of Tylenol PM…it’s large enough to medicate a small city… It expired last December.
If you click on the link, you can watch a video, or just read the following directions.
A few small steps can make an important difference in safeguarding lives and protecting the environment. Follow your medication prescriber’s instructions and use all medications as instructed. If you do not use all of your prescribed or over-the-counter medication, you can take a few small steps to make a huge impact in safeguarding lives and protecting the environment by disposing of unused medicines properly:
DO NOT FLUSH unused medications and DO NOT POUR them down a sink or drain. *
Pour medication into a ziploc plastic bag. If medication is a solid (pill, liquid capsule, etc.), crush it and add water to dissolve it.
Add kitty litter, sawdust, coffee grounds (or any material that mixes with the medication and makes it less appealing for pets and children to eat) to the plastic bag.
Seal the plastic bag and put it in the trash.
Remove and destroy ALL identifying personal information (prescription label) from all medication containers before recycling them or throwing them away.
Be Proactive and Dispose of Unused Medication In Household Trash. When discarding unused medications, ensure you protect children and pets from potentially negative effects:
Check for Approved State and Local Collection Programs. Another option is to check for approved state and local collection alternatives such as community based household hazardous waste collection programs. In certain states, you may be able to take your unused medications to your community pharmacy or other location for disposal.
This Frequently Asked Question is easily one of my favorites. I am so glad you asked.
When I dredge up the memories of the N that I have buried deep in my sub conscious, I don’t think there was a conversation…correction, a speech of the N’s that wasn’t filled with lies.
Once again, I correct myself when using the word “conversation” since it is really not possible to have a conversation with a narcissist. They do all the talking and if the “conversation” ever deviates from the Narcissist himself, he will either get sullen or get sullen and leave.
Him leaving is the very best of options.
Just changing the subject (being about him) during a “conversation” can result in D & D.
The N lies about everything. Education, job experience(s), relationships, family, friendships, feelings…the N doesn’t have any feelings except the ones he mirrors from others. Oh, and the stories that he hears from “normal “people…his sources of Narcissistic supply…those become his stories too.
He did those things.
He’ll tell you all about them….in fabulous, colorful detail…because that’s the way they were told to him. When you respond in awe at his fantastic tall tales of courage, valor and bravery (think Paul Bunyan) it will possibly earn you an even higher level position in the Pyramid of narcissistic supply.
No entry level position for you. Nope.
Don’t we all want to move from Primary source of supply to the all important Secondary source of supply?
(Sarcasm.)
I know.
It’s twisted. I’m just reporting what I’ve read and researched. This really should be the other way around…but…
Primary supply givers are those that provide sustenance to the Narcissist on a random/casual basis.
I just love that word…”casual.” I just casually lost my self esteem to the narcissist.
Secondary sources of supply are those in a “relationship” (notice those quotation marks!) with the narcissist. Those that provide supply on a regular basis….a spouse…(God help her)…friends, (oops…remember the narcissist really doesn’t have any)…co-workers/colleagues, business partners…(get out while you can) teachers…(so sorry) neighbors…(you could always move…)
Sorry…brief tangent….
In looking back, I remember how the N lied so convincingly.
Would he have passed a lie detector test?
I don’t know. The N believed his ‘own press’ to the point that the lies became truth.
He was a legend in his own mind.
Have you ever heard that when a person lies they often look to the left… and they don’t look you in the eye?
The N demonstrated this several times. If I had not been so throughly indoctrinated by the Narcissist, I would have stood up and said “Liar!”
Doing this would have been appropriate, as that is what the N is….A Liar.
…(Seated on the floor of the Senate and shouting out “Liar” is really bad manners, no matter what your party affiliation…)
Wow!
About 13 months ago I started blogging.
I now have 100 posts. Woo Hoo! Throw some confetti and cut the cake.
When my boys were in elementary school the 100th day of school was a BIG deal.
Their assignment was to count out 100 pennies, 100 fishy crackers, 100 crayons…you get the idea, and bring their 100 items to school.
It was a big celebration. Sometimes they even made hats. One of the boys’ teachers was hung up on hats.
Frankly, I’ve always suspected that the day was actually a bribe for the teachers….”Hey staff, Look! You’ve only got 80 days left! You can hang on a little longer with the Stuart boys, can’t you? Their mom always brings in those good brownies about this time of the year…you can do it!”
Really, my boys are charming.
The first three…that I am not allowed to blog about…have turned into remarkable young men.
We are very proud.
This last one is coming along…I know the jury is still out…but I have high hopes and sore knees from spending a great deal of time in prayer over this one. The last one….he throws off the class curve…I sometimes thought they just hung on to him for the boost in their STAR ratings…if there is such a thing.
100 posts.
It is a big deal.
I’m happy to say that the content has gone in other directions and didn’t stay focused on Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
It’s just that “once you are onto it” as Planetjan says…you want to share what you know.
We want to debunk the mysterious persona that the N tried to create. Seriously, he’s full of hot air.
Last month, Hubby saw that Boz Scaggs was performing in SO CAL with James Ingram.
I have never seen Boz live and I really wanted to go.
I have a secret confession – I have a favorite Boz CD that I listen to while balancing the checkbook.
It makes the task tolerable.
The tickets for the ‘nose bleed’ section of the venue were reasonable but I wanted to see him larger than an ant.
The tickets in the pit were $300 +….
Too rich for my (summer vacation without a check) blood.
I will have to settle for watching old videos on youtube.
Since we planned a road trip for late July, we knew that we had to purchase & pack the sunscreen.
It was very hot and we managed to get tanned through the windshield.
Next time – Think tinted windows.
I had forgotten that Yosemite gets that hot in July and August. We camped there for two weeks, one June.
It was hot but the mosquito’s were worse…think sunscreen and bug spray….
While we live in a state that deeply appreciates it’s tourists, Hubby’s and my least favorite things are sunscreen, no deoderant and amusement parks. We purposely boycott the “unhappiest place on earth” during the summer months just for those reasons….you’d have to add the admission price in as well…no, don’t even get me started on that.
Sunscreen has never been my favorite beauty product. I don’t like the smell, the way it makes my skin feel, the occasional allergic reaction to the chemicals, did I mention the smell? Oh, now don’t preach…my skin no where near resembles shoe leather.
Quite the opposite.; because I simply stay out of the sun. And don’t start in about the unseen damage that the sun can do to our skin….I’ve had the sun damage test done and there really isn’t any.
Really annoyed the doctor, I did. (Where did the Yoda accent come from?)
Anyway. Let me tell you about some suncreens my family recommends.
Our favorite sunscreen this trip was:
It has the 50 SPF reccommended by The Skin Cancer Foundation, and comes in a spray/ stream bottle.
There were several things that we liked about this product.
One, the scent. It was has a soft baby scent. It doesn’t blaringly yell and wave…”I’m wearing sunscreen!”
(For you manly men, don’t worry, the baby soft scent does not last very long. Hubby wears it and he’s got line backer shoulders.)
Two, was the spray/stream bottle. You can spray/squirt it exactly where you want it. It doesn’t pour out more than you want like some products. The most important reason was the recommendation by the Skin Cancer Foundation.
Coppertone Water Babies 45SPF -
We liked this one as well, but the drawback is the lotion/liquid. It pours out too quickly, and it reminded me too much of the sunscreens of the 70’s and 80’s. You know, that sunscreen smell. This is one would be great for Mother’s beach or the pool where you need frequent re-applications. I liked that it was the #1 brand recommended by pediatricians. Even as cynical as I am, I would like to think that pediatricians are not getting a kickback from Coppertone.
Neutrogena Ultra Sheer Dry Touch Sunblock SPF 70 with Helioplex recommended by the Am. Cancer Society -
This is a very good sunscreen; the one that I used the most. When applied to the skin it does not leave a greasy feel. It is good for the delicate areas of the face and does not clog pores. Every one’s nose got a dose of this in the desert.
Neutrogena Fresh Cooling Sunblock gel SPF 45 with Helioplex recc by the American Cancer Society -
Another product that we liked by Neutrogena. This one is really good for a second or third application throughout the day. I used this several times on my upper arms that were getting too much sun through the windows. The gel cools warm skin when it is applied. It’s pleasant and refreshing and it doesn’t feel like you have on sunscreen.
Banana Boat Sport Performance Broad Spectrum AvoTriplex SPF 50 Recc by the Skin Cancer Foundation -
The boys really liked this brand. There was no strong sunscreen smell and it was readily absorbed, not leaving their skin oily.
They use it whenever they are going biking or have a sporting event during the day. Hubby slathered this all over his white knees and his farmer tanned arms several times a day.
But, the most important thing to remember is to apply your sunscreen. Don’t count on a hat to keep you covered.
Hubby’s first view of the Grand Canyon left him slack-jawed for about ten minutes.
Sam couldn’t believe how far down it was to the floor of the canyon, and I didn’t remember how awe- inspiringly-beautiful it was.
(Is that a word? It should be.)
The Nintendo DS stayed in the car.
The storm that had been chasing us was circling back around. After about 30 minutes the thunder and lightening started. Sam watched a bolt of lightening strike miles across the canyon. It was then that we decided it was time to head for the lodge.
You know how when you sleep in a bed other than your own it’s hard to drift off right away?
Not for Hubby and I.
Sam, it was another story. Of course, he’d slept 6 + hours in the back seat so he read for awhile.
He found the bible that the Gideons left in a drawer.
Revelations.
Seriously.
Maybe it’s the video games, maybe it’s the generation, but his attitude is – “Bring it On!”
Oh.
And, he loves the ending.
He finally turned off the light around midnight but not before he hummed us a couple of songs from his last orchestra recital.
The next morning it was beautiful outside, not a cloud in the sky. At the Red Feather Lodge, when we were there they had continental breakfast tickets they gave us at check-in. At the lodge’s restaurant, “Cafe Tusayan” they offer either a continental breakfast or $5.50 off your breakfast chosen from the menu. It was delicious and filling. Our top piece of advice would be to pick a hotel that offers a breakfast in the morning. Several of the hotels where we stayed offered this benefit.
After breakfast our plan was to drive around the park and see as much as we could by car. Sam wanted to take in the IMAX theatre showing of “The Grand Canyon.” We had a coupon for 10% off…$7.00 for a party of 6. How much does this movie cost, anywat? We ended up not going, we’ve seen the IMAX movies about Yellowstone & Mt Saint Helen’s.
Hubby told Sam…”The Grand Canyon is spread out before us, who wants to see a movie?” Apparently Sam did. But he got over it.
We invite you to view some of our photos of the Grand Canyon, while you listen to a favorite singer of our family.
The song fits perfectly. If the name Steven Curtis Chapman sounds familiar, it is because besides Steven being a DOVE award winning song writer, singer and composer, the Chapman family suffered a severe loss 15 months ago when one of their daughters died in a tragic accident at their home. Keep this family in your prayers.
I am cheating – you saw this one in a previous post.
I think that Hallmark is missing out on a HUGE profit market here.
A whole line of greeting cards for narcissists.
After I thought about it though, I remembered that the N didn’t want any celebration for his birthday.
Celebrating a birthday or holiday made the N less than superior to the rest of us humans. Seriously.
Read Vanikin’s take on this subject. A Holiday Grudge: Narcisssists and Happiness
