When do Narcissists lie….when don’t they?
This Frequently Asked Question is easily one of my favorites. I am so glad you asked.
When I dredge up the memories of the N that I have buried deep in my sub conscious, I don’t think there was a conversation…correction, a speech of the N’s that wasn’t filled with lies.
Once again, I correct myself when using the word “conversation” since it is really not possible to have a conversation with a narcissist. They do all the talking and if the “conversation” ever deviates from the Narcissist himself, he will either get sullen or get sullen and leave.
Him leaving is the very best of options.
Just changing the subject (being about him) during a “conversation” can result in D & D.
The N lies about everything. Education, job experience(s), relationships, family, friendships, feelings…the N doesn’t have any feelings except the ones he mirrors from others. Oh, and the stories that he hears from “normal “people…his sources of Narcissistic supply…those become his stories too.
He did those things.
He’ll tell you all about them….in fabulous, colorful detail…because that’s the way they were told to him. When you respond in awe at his fantastic tall tales of courage, valor and bravery (think Paul Bunyan) it will possibly earn you an even higher level position in the Pyramid of narcissistic supply.
No entry level position for you. Nope.
Don’t we all want to move from Primary source of supply to the all important Secondary source of supply?
It’s twisted. I’m just reporting what I’ve read and researched. This really should be the other way around…but…
Primary supply givers are those that provide sustenance to the Narcissist on a random/casual basis.
I just love that word…”casual.” I just casually lost my self esteem to the narcissist.
Secondary sources of supply are those in a “relationship” (notice those quotation marks!) with the narcissist. Those that provide supply on a regular basis….a spouse…(God help her)…friends, (oops…remember the narcissist really doesn’t have any)…co-workers/colleagues, business partners…(get out while you can) teachers…(so sorry) neighbors…(you could always move…)
In looking back, I remember how the N lied so convincingly.
Would he have passed a lie detector test?
I don’t know. The N believed his ‘own press’ to the point that the lies became truth.
He was a legend in his own mind.
Have you ever heard that when a person lies they often look to the left… and they don’t look you in the eye?
The N demonstrated this several times. If I had not been so throughly indoctrinated by the Narcissist, I would have stood up and said “Liar!”
Doing this would have been appropriate, as that is what the N is….A Liar.
…(Seated on the floor of the Senate and shouting out “Liar” is really bad manners, no matter what your party affiliation…)