FAQ: Do narcissists realize what they are?
Would a narcissist take his camping chair and steal away to an isolated peaceful pond to sit quietly to reflect on his life/deeds/words?
Would he make a fearless moral inventory of himself and resolve to make amends to anyone he had harmed by his callousness?
No.
I don’t think he is capable of that much introspection. I guess that is probably good for him in a way. If N’s had the ability to care about others, if the were able to realize how much harm they have caused other people, if they knew how other people hated to deal with them, even a moment…I doubt they would be able to live with themselves.
No, they think that we (the victims) are the ones to blame, for everything. Every thing that goes wrong is someone else’s fault. The N can do no wrong. Just like the preschooler who gets caught being naughty, he quickly looks for someone else to blame…even if it’s his teddy bear.
Whenever I read a post from a person who is afraid that he/she has become like his/her Narcissist – I will frequently comment to assure them that if they were becoming like the N, they certainly wouldn’t be worried about it. They certainly wouldn’t be asking.
Do I think that the N might ever have an epiphany and realize what a scum bag he is? Could he develop a conscious and repent from how he has abused anyone having the misfortune of knowing him?
Not in a million years.
The photo above is entitled “Hidden Depths.”
There is no depth to a Narcissist, but there is a great deal that is hidden…especially from their “supply.”
The depth of their deception (to themselves AND those close to them) is unfathomable. Despite all of the devastation they wreak on the lives of others, it never occurs to them that they had something to do with it.
By definition, I think Narcissists have no understanding of their extreme self-absorption and shallowness. You’re so right that if you wonder whether you are a Narcissist, then you need not worry that you are. It doesn’t absolve a person of bad behavior, but at least it can be fixed. To solve a problem you need to acknowledge that it exists, and to a Narcissist everyone else is at fault. Thanks for posting.
Quote from the “N” – 11/16/2009
“I have long given up on the human race babe. Have absolutely nothing in common with most people here n hope I get abducted by aliens one day… I am serious.”
Alien much?
Guess he misses his Alma Mater…..I maintain they all (N’s) went to the same school in outer space.
Narcissists blame others and that’s why they’re so dangerous to people who are willing to accept blame and fault so they can make amends. When you’ve got one of those tender hearts that really wants to make relationships work, you don’t realize what hit you until you’re feeling like an overloaded garbage can.
The narcissist throws everything away, casting blame and fault in the nearest container (that would be ‘you’, ha!). That’s because narcissists don’t know how to clean up their own toxic waste, so they dump it on others.
I like to think about the remorse process as an emotional recycling center for toxic behavior…ha! Even as competent as our recycling centers might be, we can’t clean up messes for TWO.
Hugs,
CZBZ
I agree that they are incapable of introspection but I do believe that they know what they are. I agree that they don’t have any actual human emotions or realize or care about how they affect others. We are weak in their eyes simply for having emotions.
I do believe that they know exactly how un-fabulous they really are and every single word and action is a conscious attempt at convincing everyone else, and themselves, otherwise. They run from introspection so that they don’t have to face these demons. When they are not receiving enough supply,we get narcissistic rage, right? Yet another attempt to avoid the truth of what they are. One big fireball of distraction for them, destruction for us.