This picture book character is really too adorable to be the visual for this post, but the photo of “men’s briefs on fire” wouldn’t transfer as a jpeg or a ‘pdq.’ (That’s a joke.) But enough of my technology problems. I’d call my ‘Geek Squad’, but it is a long way from Pasadena. (BTW: I am in no way putting down technology minded people, male or female…I don’t want any hate mail….computer people are WONDERFUL, they have saved my skin on numerous occasions, and I ‘worship’ them as far as is Biblically allowed.)
My former friend, The Narcissist….I flinch at the word “my”. The word implies that he belonged to me, or I to him, or that I had some control of him, (he had control of me) or, that we were close, in relationship or mind-set, or that we were somehow ‘connected.’ None of these things are true, for the simple fact that he was/is a Narcissist. These days, I usually just refer to him as The N. I no longer use the words mine or my, when referring to him. It is helping me create distance along with my choice of being No Contact with him, or NC. I do have other things I call him, behind his back, but this is a family show.
Back to my previous thought…..The Narcissist was a liar. Oops, correction, he IS a liar. That feels good to say…LIAR! He lied about so many things to me. As more time goes by, and more Karma comes his way, I am finding out, that he lied to me regarding many things. I now question anything he ever said to me. This is just a partial list that follows:
He lied about being a brilliant student, he didn’t skip a grade in school. I found out he was in Special Ed classes…he took the “short bus” to school. It angers me to the core when I think of how he used to mock these students. In his conversations regarding this type of student he would ask “Are they special?”
He boasted about raising the class curve in high school classes, and that when teachers needed to leave class for a few minutes, The N was in charge. Insert eye roll here. OMG! What a liar!!!
He lied about being glad we were friends. Sure! He was grateful for the fresh supply of NS (Narcissistic Supply.) Someone he could tell all his “conquests – past exploits – stories” to and then bask in my interest. I was someone who had not been bored to tears listening to his ‘tall tales.’ (“Oh no….go on. I find your stories absolutely enthralling!!”) How stupid I was to fall for it. As near as I can tell, I was the first fresh batch of NS for him in 5-7 years. (But as I have said before, we were never really friends, a narcissist is incapable of being a friend.)
The N has the emotional and social maturity of a five year old – and I am being generous. Since I had been at home raising my family for years, I was used to being with people whose emotional maturity and interest level was that of Sesame Street, Blue’s Clues & Pokemon. No. wait, I take that back. At 4 years old, Sam used to get frustrated with Blue’s Clues….”It’s OVER there!” he would yell at the TV screen, “Look behind you!” He’d give up and turn on the Discovery Channel.
The N lied about being interested in my family, job, thoughts, opinions, feelings, experiences & beliefs. He took a great delight in mocking my beliefs, something he that had said early on in our friendship he would NEVER do. Liar.
N saw the qualities that he wanted for himself, in me, attributes of character that he can never obtain. He did keep up the grand facade while listening to me talk, especially during the idealization phase. His mask never slipped once. I must give him credit for that, it must have been very fatiguing but he never yawned. At least not to my face. Instead he mirrored me…
To be continued in “Mirror, Mirror On the Wall…”
I knew if I kept trying I’d figure out how to transfer this image!