I have received many comments on my narcissistic personality disorder posts – but I have never had a comment from someone claiming to have the actual disorder until now.
I am torn as to whether to include it as a comment, to simply delete it, or an even more complicated choice, to post part of it here and comment on it. There are so many people who were victimized and abused by N’s, I like to think of my blog as a safe place where my readers can read and get encouragement and support.
This is very difficult as I have just become aware that I am a N. I am 27. In my last relationship (5 years) I have mentally abused, cheated and degraded my partner to the point where she is broken. Everything bad that has happened has been due to alcohol.
I am scared and unsure of what to do. I have read many blogs and now I understand that I have this complicated disease.
I no longer want to hurt my partner. I don’t want to abandon her as I love her and she loves my so much in return. But I continue to hurt her through most of the techniques that have been outlined above.
Do I call it off for her sake? NC seem like it’s the only option for her to recover from my abuse. Is this part of my N? is this selfish?
I am so confused as I know that the way I think is distorted. I don’t know if i’m thinking the right thing or the ‘N’ thing.
It’s very scary.
I need help.
These are my thoughts:
How has this individual become aware that he is a narcissist?
According to all I have read, those with this insipid personality disorder don’t have introspective moments where they realize how horrible they treat those around them.
The narcissist’s I have known took great delight in hurting others and yet this man does not any longer want to hurt his partner or abandon her.
He’s asking for help – never once did the N I knew even acknowledge that he needed any assistance.
What do you think?
From the information presented, it seems to me that this individual, “Jeff” does not have narcissistic personality disorder. Perhaps “Jeff” needs to begin his recovery by giving up alcohol all together.
But he states that he has mentally abused, cheated and degraded his partner for the past 5 years. I would say no matter what his actual disorder is – his partner needs to
get out put distance between herself and any individual who has abused her. She needs counseling as does he – she needs to understand why she would permit someone to treat her in the manner that he has for 5 years. Likewise, he needs to find a good counselor who is well acquainted with personality & character defects.
Good luck to both of you.