Sometimes I get my ideas for a post by using the search engine terms. One of my friends pointed this part of the dashboard out to me when I first started blogging. She said, “Look to see the search engine phrases people use to find your blog…” I call these my FAQ’s – Frequently Asked Questions.
How do you make a Narcissist want you when there is No Contact?
Let’s go over some major points shall we?
Do you want the N to remain in your life? Do you want the chaos, turmoil, verbal abuse, insanity, gaslighting, physical abuse to continue? Do you like that ‘off kilter’ feeling? Who doesn’t love the ambient abuse and the constant upheaval? (Sarcasm) Do you want to be in a relatioNship with a sociopath/psychopath? Sure you do! There isn’t a more secure feeling than to be wondering when he’s going to pull a knife on you because you are breathing wrong….(True story)
Apparently there were people who thought I was too mean, harsh, abrupt…with my original post /comments.
You may also want to view Alexandra Nouri’s blog – listed to the right.
SO – Let’s think about this question again – thoughtfully, shall we?
Can you force someone to be in a relationship?
Can you make someone be friends / lovers with you? (I’m not taking about getting someone drunk – like on the daytime soaps.)
Can you visit a lawyer and have him draw up a contract that specifies a relationship?
I think the answer to all of these questions is “No.”
Remember when you were in grade school / middle school:
Was there perhaps a boy or girl that you really wanted to be ‘besties’ with?
Was there something that you were able to do to make them like you?
I don’t have hints on getting a Narcissist (or anyone else for that matter) to like someone else
I remember a little girl who I really wanted to be friends with but I didn’t have the right shoes / hair bow / book bag or 1/2 a sandwich to share. It’s like what the Genie in Disney’s Aladdin says….”I can’t make someone fall in love with you…..”
Shoot, if I could do that I would be married to a hunky famous actor right now…oh well.
How do I make the narcissist want me/miss me/ call me when there’s No Contact?
Well, if you are not serious about getting away from the Narcissist, then don’t “go No Contact.”
If, however the N has initiated the “No Contact” – well I hate to tell you this – but you are on his time table…he knows that his No Contact is making you insane. It’s the control that he has over you and this is one thing the N loves.
You’ll simply drive yourself crazy trying to get him to respond to your calls, texts, emails, post-it notes…etc. And, you will only anger the N further by trying to make contact with him. (Personal painful experience talking.)
When he does finally make contact (my experience) with his target – they will experience a ‘brutal’ devalue and discard…once again.
The whole idea of No Contact is to get away from the N. Once you break the spell that the N has over you and you get out of the “N fog” you find how clear your thinking is. Your heart will slowly heal from the abuse that you have suffered. But you will be suffering through a period of (sometimes) severe grief.
Maybe I should refer you to my post called “Missing Pretend Guy.”
Maybe not – it’s tough to read – it was tougher to live through…
To read “FAQ: Missing Pretend Guy” click on the link below