A reader “took me to task” this week. They felt was not being supportive enough of new readers who were breaking No Contact. This is my response. After I read what had just flowed from my fingers, I figured, hey, why not, make it a post.
I am sorry if you see my (or others) comments to readers as being a ‘smartass.’
Nothing about a relationship with a Narcissist is cute. Having been in a “frieNdship” with an N is not a clique that I Ever want to join again, believe me.
When I went into “remission” from the N, years ago, I read everything I could get my hands on from a site at MSN. It was a web site with a multitude of resources and even had (live) chat with people that were in similar situations and those who had recovered fully, especially by using a technique called “No Contact.”
No where, was I ever encouraged to seek out the N again after “Devalue and Discard”, I was strongly discouraged against contacting him, but I didn’t listen, and HOW sorry I was for not listening to those much wiser than I. The worse thing I ever did was try to ‘fix’ the ‘breakup’ with the N. It only made things worse, horribly worse.
If you were hoping that you would receive advice about how to recify, fix, heal, resume, mend, your broken relationship with the N, you will not find that here. The thing that we do not realize until many years down the path to recovery, is that the relationship / friendship with the N….was already broken from Day One. We were simply blind to that fact.
Yes, it is horribly tragic and it is a pity that any human being is subjected to this inhuman treatment from the N.
I hope that you are able to get many days of No Contact in a row. Honestly, you will find that the more days of No Contact you have the more the desire to have anything to do with the N will fade. Really, I’m not lying.
Contact me again, and let me know how you are doing. To quote AA: “One Day at a time.”
All the very best to you.