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Archive for the ‘Motherhood’ Category

One of my girlfriends is now the mother of 3 boys….3 boys under the age of 6…
I don’t why that scares me…I did it…but I was much younger then. 
She called me with a funny “little boy mama” story. 

She and her husband had the two little boys and the newborn all loaded in the car.  They have a rule when traveling with the baby….Don’t bother him in the car.  Don’t peek in his carrier, don’t poke him.  Her newest son is still at the stage where when woken, he can go from whimper to blood curdling scream in 3.5 seconds. 

She tells me that he is still eating every hour and a half…and when he wants to eat, there’s no putting him off. 
I remember when Sam was two weeks old, we went for a baby checkup.  He weighed 8 1/2 pounds.  The doctor told me that he should be eating every 4 hours….I looked at her, me, a vintage mama of 4 and silently scoffed at her.  IF I had let Sam go 4 hours without eating, the Sheriff and Social Services would have been on our doorstep. 

As my girlfriend and her husband were trying to grab a few minutes of conversation in the front seat….(we all know what thats like)….the two older boys were in the back seat…pestering the newborn. 

Little Alex had had enough.  Within seconds he was screaming like a banshee and my friends were still 10 minutes from home.  When they finally pulled in the driveway, which seemed like an eternity, her husband turned around in the front seat and said, “Now, what has this experience taught us?!”

As Alex was scooped up by his frantic mama…
Two little voices could be heard over the quieting sobs….”Don’t bother the baby.”

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I don’t know when Sam went from calling me “Mom” to “Mooothher” complete with the eye roll.  Find myself often saying these days….”Your face is going to freeze that way…” 

Real Mothers don’t eat Quiche; they don’t have time to make it.
Real Mothers really do have eyes in the back of their heads. 
Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox, the front yard, the back yard or the pool. 
Real Mothers often have sticky floors, dented pots and pans (from drumming) filthy ovens and happy kids.
Dirty ovens make the best chocolate chip cookies. 
Real Mothers know that dried play dough doesn’t come out of carpets.
(Really, it doesn’t.) 
Real Mothers don’t want to know what the vacuum just sucked up.
(That’s why vacuum manufacturers designed the crevice tool.) 
Real Mothers sometimes ask ‘Why me?’ and get their answer when a little voice says, “Because I love you.”
Real Mothers know that a child’s growth is not measured
by height, years, mustache or grade level…
It is marked by the progression from Mama to Mommy to Mom to Mother…

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How many people clean out their medicine cabinet/storage/cardboard box of medicines regularly? 
I do.  Twice a year, usually at the fall and spring time changes.  Keep those snide anti “Martha Stewart” comments to yourselves.  This really is important. 

How many times have you been “sick as a dog” only to find that the flu/cold medicine or worse yet, that the Pepto Bismol has separated into two murky looking halves in one bottle?  Ever wonder why the prescription medication you took did not work and you find yourself sicker than when you took it?  Check your expiration dates.

It is a lovely, late summer day here behind the Orange Curtain.  Our heat wave seems to be ending, finally.  My youngest son and I are comtemplating a trip to the movies to see “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.”  As he passed by me this morning, I reached over to rub his still, soft back with my hand. 
Hot.  Mom-Radar on Red Alert. 
I headed for our medicine cabinet – the linen closet in the bedroom hallway.  Armed with the digital thermometer and the Motrin, I returned to Sam.  His temperature is 102.2; he gets a dose of Motrin.

I consider Motrin to be the big guns…what I use first, when the fever is over 100 degrees.  When Sam was little and when my first three sons were under 8, I could tell you within a degree what their temperature was by feeling their upper back (between the shoulder blades) with my hand.  I don’t know if that is a marketable talent or not.  It may fall under “Mother of the Year” headings.  I remember the years when the boys would spike a high fever and I would be on watch 24/7, giving them what I affectionately called the Motrin/Tylenol cocktail.  (You can’t order that in your local pub.) 

I spent the next 30 minutes on the phone with the pediatrician’s office and Urgent Care.  They advised that if his temperature did not drop two degrees within 30-45 minutes I should bring him in immediately.  Otherwise, he should be seen in the office on Monday.  Urgent Care told me their office was filled with kids with flu like symptoms and I think I am asking for more trouble if I take him there.

While I waited to take his temperature again, my mother called.  This event, her phone call, can often have many options…ranging from pleasant to downright exhausting.  You never know who you are going to get, and she wasn’t born in June.  (My apologies to my Gemini readers.) 
I know that when I tell my mother that Sam has a fever, she will be calling ever 45 minutes to an hour.  You would think that he was my first born and only a few months old.  While we are talking she tells me about a recall of Tylenol, she heard about on the news  She has a great disdain for computers, but advises me to check to find out what product was recalled. 

I click on Google and enter the key word Tylenol.  Up pops the first item regarding a product recall.  It’s not dated three years ago.  Crud. 
I run down the list of products and here’s the Tylenol suspension liquid.  (Sam hates to swallow pills.)  I find my reading glasses and dial the number for the company.  The lot numbers of the products recalled are not listed on the site.  Could there be too many to list?  Could they want to know how many offending bottles of the product are out there? 

The customer service representative determined that the almost empty bottle of Tylenol I am holding is one that was recalled.  The other bottle, that I keep in my brief case, (should I get an emergency call from Sam’s school that he is sick and has a fever) is one of the unaffected products judging by the code.  The rep gets the necessary information to send me a coupon for a free bottle.  She also tells me that a doctor on staff with Johnson & Johnson will call me within 24 hours.  That’s very nice I tell her, but really not necessary. 
Ps – We love your baby shampoo. 

Another bit of information that she gave me was the following website with instructions for what to do with those bottles of pills and cough syrups, etc that have expired. 

Sam’s fever has dropped 2 degrees and he thinks this video looks like fun.  We’re going to go and clean out the medicine cabinet now.  He can’t wait to crush the expired pills.  I’ve got an industrial size bottle of Tylenol PM…it’s large enough to medicate a small city… It expired last December. 

http://www.smarxtdisposal.net/

If you click on the link, you can watch a video, or just read the following directions. 

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A few small steps can make an important difference in safeguarding lives and protecting the environment.
Follow your medication prescriber’s instructions and use all medications as instructed. If you do not use all of your prescribed or over-the-counter medication, you can take a few small steps to make a huge impact in safeguarding lives and protecting the environment by disposing of unused medicines properly:

  1. DO NOT FLUSH unused medications and DO NOT POUR them down a sink or drain. *
    • Pour medication into a ziploc plastic bag.  If medication is a solid (pill, liquid capsule, etc.), crush it and add water to dissolve it.
    • Add kitty litter, sawdust, coffee grounds (or any material that mixes with the medication and makes it less appealing for pets and children to eat) to the plastic bag.
    • Seal the plastic bag and put it in the trash. 
    • Remove and destroy ALL identifying personal information (prescription label) from all medication containers before recycling them or throwing them away.
  2. Be Proactive and Dispose of Unused Medication In Household Trash. When discarding unused medications, ensure you protect children and pets from potentially negative effects:
  3. Check for Approved State and Local Collection Programs. Another option is to check for approved state and local collection alternatives such as community based household hazardous waste collection programs. In certain states, you may be able to take your unused medications to your community pharmacy or other location for disposal.
  4. Consult your pharmacist with any questions.

 

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Thankfully I have had lots of energy this summer to keep up with the kids.  
I  have answered many questions, some of which took me by surprise. 

I have learned that when my brother’s children ask a question they want an answer……whether or not I am the person who should answer their question.  Somehow I was able to put off my own children’s questions…not these two. 
We have had many interesting conversations this month. 

We have talked about the word homo.
I’ve explained it means the same as gay & that some old grandmas born in the late 1800’s may have actually had Gay as a first or middle name; back then it only meant happy.  I explained that homo can also be in reference to dairy products, homogenized…with the full fat content. 
When I accidentally mentioned “heterosexual”…that added a whole new set of questions. 

I have explained that you cannot get AIDS from licking a tree…”Who on earth told you that?” I asked.   
We need to include them in our little back yard evening discussions.  Besides, why would you want to lick a tree anyway?   Isn’t this carrying “tree hugging” a bit far?  I mean I know that my brother is raising you in the Pacific Northwest, but seriously. 

I have explained multiple times, that sex has different meanings.  Whether you are filing out an application or if you are married and you would like to have a baby. 
(Although, I think it is illegal to ask a person’s sex on job applications these days.) 
We have talked about what sex means…to a degree. 
Don’t be shocked, but I have not told them that sex is for fun….for extracurricular activities. 
We’ve just gone with the basic procreating option…because that’s All. They. Wanted. To. Know.  Right now.

I have not had to explain about why a 4 hour erection is a bad thing.  I am very fast with the remote. 
My husband thinks a man deserves a medal for such an accomplishment.  Hubby may just get the priviledge of explaining those commercials; and he recently learned the “fancy term” for that 4 hour badge of honor from watching an episode of True Blood Season One.  Who says you can’t learn stuff from watching cable? 

I just hope we’re set on definitions for now.

At our second viewing of Harry Potter 6 (as we are calling it) I explained again, why Hermione was crying while sitting on the staircase with Harry after seeing Ron snogging with Lavender Brown. 
I’ve explained “Snogging” …I hope there’s not more to it than I think. 
Sure hope it only means kissing….someone in Britain get back to me on that if you would please.

Anyway, my niece needed more clarification.  (I felt like I was explaining the latest episode of a soap opera.)
I said,  “Hermione is crying, because she has realized that she loves Ron but here he is with another girl.  Hermione is the girl that Ron should be kissing.  Ron, is totally clueless about Hermione’s feelings.  Meanwhile, Harry has realized that he has very strong feelings for Ginny, but is afraid to do anything about it.  Harry doesn’t know what Ron would do to him (Harry) if he saw Ginny and Harry kissing. 

My niece looked at me and said, “I think Ron needs to join us for our evening conversations.”

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What is it they say? 
Art imitates Life? 
Or Sunday comics imitate laundry day? 

While my brother and his wife are on their cruise, I am doing laundry for 3 rambunctious “tweens- semi-tween.” 
(My nephew acts close enough to a tween, to be included.)

This should really be no big deal. 
I did the laundry of 4 boys for many years; but I don’t remember missing this many socks at my house. 
I remember taking little terry cloth sleepers and warm receiving blankets out of the dryer; pairs of jeans that were smaller than my arm. 
Everything had a Carter’s, Osh Kosh, or Health-Tex label.  Maybe I’ve been sniffing the bottle of Downy too much today, I am feeling a bit weepy for the old days. 

Now I am washing things with sparkles and so much pink that I feel like there has been an estrogen explosion.  This must be what it’s like to have a daughter.  I have been informed that “this is only to be washed in cold water and that never goes in the dryer!”  I have been able to redeem my faux pas by painting her toe nails a VERY hot pink…what else.

At the moment there are 5 socks on the dryer…missing their mates. 
If these wayward socks have found their way into your dryer, let me know…we’ll arrange a swap. 

TBC

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Ohana –

Ohana means family….family means that sometime in the middle of the night my 12 year old son along with my 8 year old nephew and his 12 year old sister, my niece will have crawled into bed with me.  At least that means there is no room for the dogs and the cat. 
Tomorrow when Hubby arrives, these 3 will have to find other accommodations in the middle of the night. 
(Of course, I didn’t know that they had been watching an episode of “It Could Happen Tomorrow”  about a futuristic earthquake off the coast of Seattle and the subsequent tsunami, while I was blogging….My fault…my bad.)

Ohana means family….family that is spending part of her summer vacation watching her niece and nephew while her baby brother and his wife, go on a Hawaiian cruise…by themselves.
It’s okay. 
When my brother returns, Hubby and I are taking our own trip…by ourselves. 
One of the stops on our tour of the Olympic Peninsula is going to be the sleepy little town of Forks, Washington…home of Twilight. 

TBC

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 AthenaLatestMain

Having spent a full week with two ‘tweens’ and a eight year old, I now fully understand why some animals eat their young.

I love her expression – I looked the same way this morning.  “Oh dear God give me patience and I need it now!” 
Can’t you just hear the conversation they might be having…or rather the whining she is listening to? 
“We’re bored!  He won’t let me play the PS2 with him!  Can’t we go do something?  Aren’t we going to the movies?  Do I have to sit by him in the van? 

More likely its stuff like, “She took my salmon!”

GRIZZLY

This was me this morning. 
All I wanted to do was sit on the deck, drink my coffee while it was still warm and watch the squirrels play peek-a-boo around the pine trees. 
To whomever designed the squirrel repellent bird feeders…you haven’t met the determined little fur balls in the Pacific Northwest.

TBC

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