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Posts Tagged ‘Health’

Hey-
I was just “carded” at Target for buying cough syrup! 
It just doesn’t get any better than this!

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FAQ:  Do narcissists realize what they are?

Would a narcissist take his camping chair and steal away to an isolated peaceful pond to sit quietly to reflect on his life/deeds/words?

Would he make a fearless moral inventory of himself and resolve to make amends to anyone he had harmed by his callousness?

No.

I don’t think he is capable of that much introspection.  I guess that is probably good for him in a way.  If N’s had the ability to care about others, if the were able to realize how much harm they have caused other people, if they knew how much other people hated to deal with them, even for a moment…I doubt they would be able to live with themselves.

(Which I guess would be a good thing….they wouldn’t be walking the earth.)

No, they think that we (the victims) are the ones to blame, for everything.  Everything that goes wrong is someone else’s fault.  The N can do no wrong.  Just like the preschooler who gets caught being naughty, he quickly looks for someone else to blame…even if it’s his teddy bear.

Whenever I read a post from a person who is afraid that he/she has become like his/her Narcissist – I will frequently comment to assure them that if they were becoming like the N, they certainly wouldn’t be worried about it.  They certainly wouldn’t be asking.

Do I think that the N might ever have an epiphany and realize what a scum bag he is?  Could he develop a conscious and repent from how he has abused anyone having the misfortune of knowing him?

Not in a million years.

The photo above is entitled “Hidden Depths.”
There is no depth to a Narcissist, but there is a great deal that is hidden…especially from their “supply.”

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How many people clean out their medicine cabinet/storage/cardboard box of medicines regularly? 
I do.  Twice a year, usually at the fall and spring time changes.  Keep those snide anti “Martha Stewart” comments to yourselves.  This really is important. 

How many times have you been “sick as a dog” only to find that the flu/cold medicine or worse yet, that the Pepto Bismol has separated into two murky looking halves in one bottle?  Ever wonder why the prescription medication you took did not work and you find yourself sicker than when you took it?  Check your expiration dates.

It is a lovely, late summer day here behind the Orange Curtain.  Our heat wave seems to be ending, finally.  My youngest son and I are comtemplating a trip to the movies to see “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.”  As he passed by me this morning, I reached over to rub his still, soft back with my hand. 
Hot.  Mom-Radar on Red Alert. 
I headed for our medicine cabinet – the linen closet in the bedroom hallway.  Armed with the digital thermometer and the Motrin, I returned to Sam.  His temperature is 102.2; he gets a dose of Motrin.

I consider Motrin to be the big guns…what I use first, when the fever is over 100 degrees.  When Sam was little and when my first three sons were under 8, I could tell you within a degree what their temperature was by feeling their upper back (between the shoulder blades) with my hand.  I don’t know if that is a marketable talent or not.  It may fall under “Mother of the Year” headings.  I remember the years when the boys would spike a high fever and I would be on watch 24/7, giving them what I affectionately called the Motrin/Tylenol cocktail.  (You can’t order that in your local pub.) 

I spent the next 30 minutes on the phone with the pediatrician’s office and Urgent Care.  They advised that if his temperature did not drop two degrees within 30-45 minutes I should bring him in immediately.  Otherwise, he should be seen in the office on Monday.  Urgent Care told me their office was filled with kids with flu like symptoms and I think I am asking for more trouble if I take him there.

While I waited to take his temperature again, my mother called.  This event, her phone call, can often have many options…ranging from pleasant to downright exhausting.  You never know who you are going to get, and she wasn’t born in June.  (My apologies to my Gemini readers.) 
I know that when I tell my mother that Sam has a fever, she will be calling ever 45 minutes to an hour.  You would think that he was my first born and only a few months old.  While we are talking she tells me about a recall of Tylenol, she heard about on the news  She has a great disdain for computers, but advises me to check to find out what product was recalled. 

I click on Google and enter the key word Tylenol.  Up pops the first item regarding a product recall.  It’s not dated three years ago.  Crud. 
I run down the list of products and here’s the Tylenol suspension liquid.  (Sam hates to swallow pills.)  I find my reading glasses and dial the number for the company.  The lot numbers of the products recalled are not listed on the site.  Could there be too many to list?  Could they want to know how many offending bottles of the product are out there? 

The customer service representative determined that the almost empty bottle of Tylenol I am holding is one that was recalled.  The other bottle, that I keep in my brief case, (should I get an emergency call from Sam’s school that he is sick and has a fever) is one of the unaffected products judging by the code.  The rep gets the necessary information to send me a coupon for a free bottle.  She also tells me that a doctor on staff with Johnson & Johnson will call me within 24 hours.  That’s very nice I tell her, but really not necessary. 
Ps – We love your baby shampoo. 

Another bit of information that she gave me was the following website with instructions for what to do with those bottles of pills and cough syrups, etc that have expired. 

Sam’s fever has dropped 2 degrees and he thinks this video looks like fun.  We’re going to go and clean out the medicine cabinet now.  He can’t wait to crush the expired pills.  I’ve got an industrial size bottle of Tylenol PM…it’s large enough to medicate a small city… It expired last December. 

http://www.smarxtdisposal.net/

If you click on the link, you can watch a video, or just read the following directions. 

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A few small steps can make an important difference in safeguarding lives and protecting the environment.
Follow your medication prescriber’s instructions and use all medications as instructed. If you do not use all of your prescribed or over-the-counter medication, you can take a few small steps to make a huge impact in safeguarding lives and protecting the environment by disposing of unused medicines properly:

  1. DO NOT FLUSH unused medications and DO NOT POUR them down a sink or drain. *
    • Pour medication into a ziploc plastic bag.  If medication is a solid (pill, liquid capsule, etc.), crush it and add water to dissolve it.
    • Add kitty litter, sawdust, coffee grounds (or any material that mixes with the medication and makes it less appealing for pets and children to eat) to the plastic bag.
    • Seal the plastic bag and put it in the trash. 
    • Remove and destroy ALL identifying personal information (prescription label) from all medication containers before recycling them or throwing them away.
  2. Be Proactive and Dispose of Unused Medication In Household Trash. When discarding unused medications, ensure you protect children and pets from potentially negative effects:
  3. Check for Approved State and Local Collection Programs. Another option is to check for approved state and local collection alternatives such as community based household hazardous waste collection programs. In certain states, you may be able to take your unused medications to your community pharmacy or other location for disposal.
  4. Consult your pharmacist with any questions.

 

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When do Narcissists lie….when don’t they?

This Frequently Asked Question is easily one of my favorites.  I am so glad you asked.

When I dredge up the memories of the N that I have buried deep in my sub conscious, I don’t think there was a conversation…correction, a speech of the N’s that wasn’t filled with lies. 

Once again, I correct myself when using the word “conversation” since it is really not possible to have a conversation with a narcissist.  They do all the talking and if the “conversation” ever deviates from the Narcissist himself, he will either get sullen or get sullen and leave. 
Him leaving is the very best of options. 
Just changing the subject (being about him) during a “conversation” can result in D & D. 

The N lies about everything.  Education, job experience(s), relationships, family, friendships, feelings…the N doesn’t have any feelings except the ones he mirrors from others.  Oh, and the stories that he hears from “normal “people…his sources of Narcissistic supply…those become his stories too. 
He did those things. 
He’ll tell you all about them….in fabulous, colorful detail…because that’s the way they were told to him.   When you respond in awe at his fantastic tall tales of courage, valor and bravery (think Paul Bunyan) it will possibly earn you an even higher level position in the Pyramid of narcissistic supply. 

No entry level position for you.  Nope.
Don’t we all want to move from Primary source of supply to the all important Secondary source of supply? 
(Sarcasm.)
I know.
It’s twisted.  I’m just reporting what I’ve read and researched.  This really should be the other way around…but…
Primary supply givers are those that provide sustenance to the Narcissist on a random/casual basis. 
I just love that word…”casual.”  I just casually lost my self esteem to the narcissist. 

Secondary sources of supply are those in a “relationship” (notice those quotation marks!) with the narcissist.  Those that provide supply on a regular basis….a spouse…(God help her)…friends, (oops…remember the narcissist really doesn’t have any)…co-workers/colleagues, business partners…(get out while you can) teachers…(so sorry) neighbors…(you could always move…) 

Sorry…brief tangent….

In looking back, I remember how the N lied so convincingly. 
Would he have passed a lie detector test?
I don’t know.  The N believed his ‘own press’ to the point that the lies became truth. 
He was a legend in his own mind. 

Have you ever heard that when a person lies they often look to the left… and they don’t look you in the eye? 
The N demonstrated this several times.  If I had not been so throughly indoctrinated by the Narcissist,  I would have stood up and said “Liar!” 
Doing this would have been appropriate, as that is what the N is….A Liar. 

…(Seated on the floor of the Senate and shouting out “Liar” is really bad manners, no matter what your party affiliation…)

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Since we planned a road trip for late July, we knew that we had to purchase & pack the sunscreen. 
It was very hot and we managed to get tanned through the windshield. 
Next time – Think tinted windows.  
I had forgotten that Yosemite gets that hot in July and August.  We camped there for two weeks, one June. 
It was hot but the mosquito’s were worse…think sunscreen and bug spray….

While we live in a state that deeply appreciates it’s tourists, Hubby’s and my least favorite things are sunscreen, no deoderant and amusement parks.  We purposely boycott the “unhappiest place on earth” during the summer months just for those reasons….you’d have to add the admission price in as well…no, don’t even get me started on that. 

Sunscreen has never been my favorite beauty product.  I don’t like the smell, the way it makes my skin feel, the occasional allergic reaction to the chemicals, did I mention the smell?  Oh, now don’t preach…my skin no where near resembles shoe leather. 
Quite the opposite.; because I simply stay out of the sun.  And don’t start in about the unseen damage that the sun can do to our skin….I’ve had the sun damage test done and there really isn’t any. 
Really annoyed the doctor, I did.  (Where did the Yoda accent come from?) 
Anyway.  Let me tell you about some suncreens my family recommends. 
Our favorite sunscreen this trip was:  

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Hawaiian Tropic Baby Faces & Tender Places Sunblock –

It has the 50 SPF  reccommended  by The Skin Cancer Foundation, and comes in a spray/ stream bottle. 
There were several things that we liked about this product. 
One, the scent.  It was has a soft baby scent.  It doesn’t blaringly yell and wave…”I’m wearing sunscreen!”   
(For you manly men, don’t worry, the baby soft scent does not last very long.  Hubby wears it and he’s got line backer shoulders.)
Two, was the spray/stream bottle.  You can spray/squirt it exactly where you want it.  It doesn’t pour out more than you want like some products.  The most important reason was the recommendation by the Skin Cancer Foundation. 

 Coppertone Water Babies 45SPF – 

We liked this one as well, but the drawback is the lotion/liquid.  It pours out too quickly, and it reminded me too much of the sunscreens of the 70’s and 80’s.  You know, that sunscreen smell.  This is one would be great for Mother’s beach or the  pool where you need  frequent re-applications.  I liked that it was the #1 brand recommended by pediatricians.  Even as cynical as I am, I would like to think that pediatricians are not getting a kickback from Coppertone. 

 Neutrogena Ultra Sheer Dry Touch Sunblock SPF 70 with Helioplex recommended by the Am. Cancer Society –

This is a very good sunscreen; the one that I used the most.  When applied to the skin it does not leave a greasy feel.  It is good for the delicate areas of the face and does not clog pores.  Every one’s  nose got a dose of this in the desert. 

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 Neutrogena Fresh Cooling Sunblock gel SPF 45 with Helioplex recc by the American Cancer Society –

Another product that we liked by Neutrogena.  This one is really good for a second or third application throughout the day.  I used this several times on my upper arms that were getting too much sun through the windows.  The gel cools warm skin when it is applied.  It’s pleasant and refreshing and it doesn’t feel like you have on sunscreen. 

Banana Boat Sport Performance Broad Spectrum AvoTriplex SPF 50 Recc by the Skin Cancer Foundation –

The boys really liked this brand.  There was no strong sunscreen smell and it was readily absorbed, not leaving their skin oily. 
They use it whenever they are going biking or have a sporting event during the day.  Hubby slathered this all over his white knees and his farmer tanned arms several times a day.

But, the most important thing to remember is to apply your sunscreen.  Don’t count on a hat to keep you covered. 

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HAPPY B-DAY

I think that Hallmark is missing out on a HUGE profit market here.

A whole line of greeting cards for narcissists. 
After I thought about it though, I remembered that the N didn’t want any celebration for his birthday. 
Celebrating a birthday or holiday made the N less than superior to the rest of us humans.  Seriously. 

Read Vanikin’s take on this subject. 
A Holiday Grudge:  Narcisssists and Happiness

http://samvak.tripod.com/narcissisthappiness.html

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Can you tell a Narcissist by his eyes? 

This sweet cat would no doubt be offended at the comparison. 
The individual asking Google the question used the phrasing  “Can you tell a narcissist with his eyes.”  I don’t think you can necessarily tell what kind of human being a person is, by their eyes. 
I have only known one bona fide narcissist and I know what his eyes were like. 

Some people are shy, they can’t look you in the eyes for very long.  It’s not that they are dishonest, it just makes them uncomfortable, makes them feel vulnerable, to look in another person’s eyes for very long.  Being a victim of a narcissist left me feeling fragile and fearful to let people see my eyes.  As if, they would be able to see the pain that was written there. 

Many people like myself have been harmed by individuals who portrayed themselves as genuine, when in actuality there wasn’t a human emotion in their being….the only emotions they had, were mirrored from another living, breathing person.  To look a narcissist in the eye is the beginning of losing a part of your self…they take so much – they take as much as they can and then they leave the shell of their victim behind. 

There is the famous phrase that says:  “The eyes are the windows to the soul.” 
I don’t know if that is true or not.  People would be afraid to look anyone in the eye if it was.  Everyone would be able to see each others flaws, hurts, their darkest secrets. We know (those of us who were/are victims), that narcissists have no soul…at least it seems that way to us after we have been abused by them for a season or in the unfortunate cases of some…a lifetime. 

Since the demise of the narcissist, I have gotten good, or should I say better at reading people.  I like to think of it as radar or maybe  N-dar.  It would be even better to say that I listen to my Intuition now.  I watch body language when I meet people; when I interact.  I watch how people comport themselves…I watch their eyes.  I look to see if they attempt to ‘lock me in their gaze’ and not look away. 
There’s a Red Flag waving. 

Sometimes I wish I had Sookie Stackhouse’s (True Blood) gift of hearing thoughts.  She would be quick to say that she does not read minds, but rather thoughts and feelings.  But like Sookie, it is impossible to ‘glamour’ me.  Sorry Bill…Sorry Eric, it won’t work. 

I will tell you one thing about the narcissist’s eyes….his eyes changed color. 
I know, I know, it’s not supposed to be possible, not without contact lenses. 
I know it sounds like something out of Hollywood or a popular novel…Edward’s eyes changed from golden to black, when hungry. 
I can only tell you what I saw.  
The N’s eyes would turn black when he raged or during an episode of Devalue & Discard (we’re not talking Dungeons and Dragons)
His eyes changing color was something that happened many times. 
Truly, his eyes looked like a shark’s eyes.  Empty, cold and unfeeling….just like him.

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