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Posts Tagged ‘Holidays’

he_is_making_a_list_he_is_checking_it_twice_he_bumper_sticker-p128763840322541237en8ys_400I was bored this week and I got to thinking about all the things my readers (and myself) will miss during this holiday season not having to entertain the disordered Narcissist in their life.  If your N was a female, feel free to subsitute the female pronouns.
As far as Santa’s list goes?  The N would definitely be on the Naughty list.

You will not have to hear how the gift you got him is inferior to what other sources of supply got him
He will not make any comments about the holiday decorations
You will not open a gift of fishing waders 3 sizes too big for you
You will not have to feign excitement over already/partially used gift cards
You not be expected to clean the floor after the holiday dinner with the fabulous new mop he gave you.
You will not have to listen to him complain that dinner is not how his mother would have made it
You will not be giving him gifts while he has nothing for you in exchange.  (See used gift cards)
You will not have to listen to ANY complaints from him
You will not have to hear him lecture you that you spent too much money on food, gifts, children, decorations…but not enough money on him…
Oh, and let me guess…does he think the Nativity scene represents his birthday? LOL!

In short, your holiday will not be disturbed by the pathetic creature who tries to pass himself/herself off as human.
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Traditions

We didn’t have a Christmas tree fight this year – We left Hubby at home.
We left him at home sorting thru the Christmas lights. 
Never fear though, we had a Christmas tree lights fight instead.
After 3 hours of growling, complaining and the occassional curse – he finally decided to go out and buy “fresh lights.”
It may not be “green” but I think that tree lights should just expire after one use – some of ours were going on 20 years old.

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Looking for a place to hide a Christmas present fast?
Remember the bread machine that you got for Christmas  – the one you’ve never used? 
Granted it does make you look very domestic while it sits on the kitchen counter. 
Just open the top and hide the gift inside the machine.  You might want to make a list of those crazy hiding places – just in case you forget where you cleverly hid that gift. 
This is also an excellent place to hide those bags of Rollo’s that you just smuggled into the house for your special Rolo Brownie recipe.
Are you hoping that I’ll share that too? 

Rolo Brownie Tartlets

One bag Rolo chocolate candies
One box of your favorite brownie mix
Tiny muffin cups
Tiny muffin pan

Prepare the brownie mix according to package directions
Put one muffin cup liner in each muffin cup
Unwrap the Rolo’s – this is very important

With a tablespoon fill the liners about 1/2 full
Bake in a preheated oven at 350 for approximately 15 – 20 min
Don’t let them bake too long. 

Remove from oven and push one Rolo candy into each brownie – the smaller side down. 
Cool for a few minutes and then carefully remove tartlets from pan

Once these are cool a great hiding place is inside your bread machine. 
Feel free to let people think you slaved for hours making these – I do!

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Never before at Christmas time have I ever had the gifts wrapped before midnight on Christmas morning.   Often hubby and I  were both bleary-eyed when our three boys woke up to open presents.  Where is the coffee? 
This afternoon my youngest went out with one of his brothers and I had over six hours to my self.
 
I thought I could clean the tub and take a hot bath without expecting someone to come bursting to ask if I had seen this or that.  And then, I heard an angel chorus….I could get all the Christmas presents wrapped!  I could even use the big table and not have to hide in our bedroom.  I wouldn’t have to lean over the bed, wrapping on top of the comforter; having to be careful not to cut fabric when I cut the wrapping paper. 

After about 3 hours, Pete and Sam called to say they were on their way home…”Did I need anything?”  “Yes,” I shouted, “I need you to stay gone two more hours!”  Sam wanted to know if I was wrapping stuff for him…he wants a razor scooter…the kind that sparks.  “No,” I said, “I don’t think there’s anything here for you yet.” 
Five hours later, I had everything wrapped…including the skooter….buried behind the tree.  Stocking stuffers are in five separate bags, ready to go when my family is down for the night.  I have a  new bottle of cough syrup to go in my stocking.  The kitty treats and toys are in their own gift bags.  

When hubby got home from work and the boys returned from the movies we had bowls of Superbowl Soup (shameless plug for past post) and corn bread.  I still haven’t asked what movie they saw, (maybe I don’t want to know) while enjoyed two more hours of wrapping in peace. 

This evening I walked past the tree.  There, hiding underneath was AJ, with her face buried in her gift bag. 
Even she can’t wait for Christmas.

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Photo credit:  Jim McQuire:  Pumpkins in Snow

I was looking for a new recipe for dessert this Thanksgiving.
I came across this one, which I have tweaked a bit.
It is like those “Dump Cakes” of the 1970’s.  I have the one in the oven right now.   Wish you could smell it baking

Pumpkin Dump Cake

1 29 ounce can Libby’s canned pumpkin
1 box yellow cake mix, any brand
1 cup melted butter

Prepare the pumpkin according to label instructions, using only one can of evaporated milk.  I also used only 1 cup sugar as the cake mix is very sweet.  Pour the pumpkin mixture into a greased 13 x 9 pan.  I recommend using Baker’s Joy or similar product.  Sprinkle the dry cake mix evenly over the top of the pumpkin mixture, then carefully drizzle the melted butter over the cake mix.

You can sprinkle with 1 cup chopped nuts if you wish, but our extended family is crazy enough already.

Bake at 325 for 1 1/4 to 1 1/2 hours.  When completely cooled top servings with real whipped cream.  Refrigerate any leftovers….what leftovers?

When I serve this, I will warm it up slightly, I think it is better slightly warmed.

Enjoy.

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This is one of those recipes that you find on the back of the box of sugar. 
I have a fabulous cook book that I bought 20 years ago called:
Best Recipes From the backs of Boxes, Bottles, Cans and Jars.  by Cecil Dyer 1989

Since it is nearly Thanksgiving in the States, I thought it was time for another great recipe with pecans. 
I’m the only one who likes pecans in my family so I’m glad these freeze well. 

1 cup packed C & H Pure Cane Golden Brown Sugar
1/4 cup shortening
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup chopped pecans

Pre heat oven to 350 degrees

Grease 8 x 8 x 2 inch baking dish.  In medium bowl, beat sugar and shortening until fluffy.  Beat in egg and vanilla.  Combine flour, baking powder and salt; stir into mixture.  Stir in nuts.  Spread batter in baking dish.  Bake 25 minutes.  Cut into 2×1 inch bars. Makes 2 1/2 dozen.  Make a fresh pot of coffee – I’ll be right over!

Thanks to Family Fun Magazine for the photo and C & H Pure cane sugar for the recipe.

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HAPPY B-DAY

I think that Hallmark is missing out on a HUGE profit market here.

A whole line of greeting cards for narcissists. 
After I thought about it though, I remembered that the N didn’t want any celebration for his birthday. 
Celebrating a birthday or holiday made the N less than superior to the rest of us humans.  Seriously. 

Read Vanikin’s take on this subject. 
A Holiday Grudge:  Narcisssists and Happiness

http://samvak.tripod.com/narcissisthappiness.html

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